Both of my elderly parents died alone in cheap nursing homes despite having 7 children, 10 adult grandchildren and a previously loving community. My father died in 2014, my mother last year at age 95 (she unintentionally starved to death due to deep depression brought on by abuse and neglect by my siblings). It was HEARTBREAKING for me. The facility called the police to have me removed from her bedside 11 days before she died. It was brutal.
As the youngest of 7, I was the only caregiver for both my parents, and I did my best to keep them out of institutions, but my siblings were greedy and overrode my requests for kindness.
Due to the deep grief after my mother’s horrific death, I attempted (very impulsively) to kill myself 2 weeks ago. I very nearly succeeded. It was absolutely a near death experience. It was a wake up call for me but for NONE of my family, including my own 21-year-old daughter (who’d had me locked up for being depressed in the first place).
My grief is deep. If feels so heavy. I want to help my daughter, but I have to help myself first.
Do you have any suggestions for how to heal from this endless pain?