Cancer is tenderizing me. Everything is more poignant, both the beautiful experiences and the difficult ones.
The MRI found a small “enhanced area” in my other breast and the radiologist wants to check it out more closely. It may be nothing, or it may be something.
I’m waiting at the hospital, for an ultrasound appointment that was scheduled for 90 minutes ago.
The nurse tells me that the first two cases this morning are very complicated and the doctor is still busy with them. My heart goes out to those women, and it also quivers a bit. I hope I don’t end up being a complicated case.
I came down to the cafe to order breakfast and discovered I’d forgotten my wallet. The kind man who owns it (and is the reason they have a cross cultural selection of both bagels and yummy East African curries) pats my hand and tells me I can pay next time I’m in.
I’m now eating bacon and eggs off a styrofoam plate, and crying.
I’m OK.
I’m OK when I’m feeling capable and optimistic. And I’m OK when I’m feeling scared and overwhelmed. The kindness and love I’m experiencing makes it all bearable.